"We will not go down in the night, without a fight"
I have been keeping my fingers on the keyboard for more than ten minutes now. I have been wanting to update this blog since a few days ago. Still, nothing comes out of it. I don't know how to start this. I don't even know if this post will be long but let's hope it will not be boring.
All these times, I have been ignorant about the condition in Palestine, Gaza, Syria. I see news about them on the TV, newspapers, Internet but that was it. A few days ago while browsing my Twitter, I came across tweets about Gaza. I don't know what was it but something inside me touched me. I knew I had to do something and my perspective regarding this matter took a turn. It has changed completely.
Those years and the ignorance, I believe I was like that because of fear. I was afraid of what was happening to them. I was afraid of what will happen to them. I was afraid of their tears. I was afraid of their blood. I was afraid of the situation. I was afraid I would shed a tear. Oh, I have this thing with 'tears'. I don't fancy them. It isn't ego or anything. I chose not to cry in front of people. I do that alone, occasionally.
Flashback a few years and here I am. Fully aware of my responsibility as a Muslim, that I should support the Gazans. Fully aware of what's actually happening. Fully aware of what I have became for the past years and really ashamed of it.
Confession, done.
If before this I was too chicken to view the photos of the situations in Gaza, I gather my strength now, and look at it. Now I know. I know they need other Muslims to be by their sides. They need our prayers. They need our support.
Seeing photos of the situation in Gaza now was heartbreaking. Mothers holding their lifeless children. A father cries holding the body of his child. Shattered buildings. Out of all the photos, one caught my attention. A photo of a soldier pointing a gun at one guy who has the Palestine flag in his hand.
You see, the amount of faith that Palestine guy put on Allah, it's beyond everything. Fearless. He has Allah and Allah alone is enough for him. Again, I held myself from crying.
This whole thing has been very emotional to me. Even seeing photos of protests on the streets around the world made me teary. I wanted to join those protests but I can't. The emotions and spirits during the protest are too strong. Others might say aloud and I probably would cry, bawling like a child. I'm one Jane Doe who can't control her emotions.
You might want to hear this. A few months ago, I was asked to give a speech to the teachers before a pre-test. My classmates were asking me to talk and I was like "no, please, no. Not me." But they were so bersungguh-sungguh so I got up and stood in front. I smiled, my eyes started to become teary, my vision was blurred and tears streamed down. I wasn't able to give the speech. Every words that came from my mouth were like blergh. Then, I finished my speech, sat on my place and continued crying.
So, yep. I can't stand strong emotions. I'm just, you know, sensitive like that.
One out of the many things that I've learnt regarding the attack is that I need to learn. I need to learn and venture deep into the history of Palestine and why this thing is happening. Let's learn, shall we? Together. Let's learn together. One step at a time, it isn't too late. Or it is, so in that case, better late than never.
Oh, people. (I don't know why I like to address my readers, if I have any, as 'people') If you were to hear my voice reading this post, it would sound trembling. I'm holding it in, okay?
Last but not least, may Allah bless us all :)
On a sidenote: I wrote a post about this yesterday but I drafted it. The post was too long and messy and so emotional and so out of place and so not neat which is the same as messy but you know how I am with words. This one is much to my liking. I like it when I can convey my message without the post being long. I should treat myself to a cup of tea, which brings us to the fact that I have not drink tea for quite some time now. That's odd. I love tea.
Pen off, people! World peace all the way! :D
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