I learnt myself.

Psychology is very intriguing, I must say.

Today I accompanied my sister to a few places at KL. We bought some stuff. Food to be exact. Haha, that's what we usually do when we go out. Walk around looking at stuff yet ended up bringing lots of food on the way home. Every. Time. Or if that's not the case, we would ended up feeling bloated because of the overdose of glucose.

I personally could feel the difference of holiday this time. I usually think of my assignments when I'm at home but I rarely do them. I will always end up watching the television, what I like to do. I'll watch CSI, Law & Order and many many food shows. This holiday however, I've cut down the time I spent to watch TV and strangely, I do my assignments. I've been thinking about BM's assignment for two consecutive nights. Last night I started writing Chemistry lab report. And tonight is even stranger, I am planning to burn the midnight oil to finish up my assignments. You see, for the past few weeks, I go to bed at 11 p.m. Even if it's not at 11 p.m., I won't stay up until one in the morning. Except for that one night recording for history documentary. I'm quite surprised with myself. 

I've always been the person who counts her sleep before and after sleeping. I value sleep. Sleep is such an important aspect in my point of view. I always try to regulate and to have a fixed sleep schedule but ever since I came to PERMATA, it's not impossible but there are consequences. So, for the past few weeks I've been practicing to go to bed at the same time everynight. Quite a success except for today. What I'm about to do now might ruin my sleep schedule. I'm taking a big risk here! That's how I value sleep. To the point I read about REM sleep and stages of sleep and of course, about dreams.

While finishing my part in doing BM's assignment, I learnt one thing about me. I've become what I used to be years ago, a perfectionist. Years ago, I was a perfectionist. My work must be perfect and even after I've done it, I always feel something is not right somewhere. Sometimes it's bad to be a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist required me to know when to stop acting like one. Gotta know how to balance. I noticed a few months ago, I'm starting to be like that. There was a point, I almost write my Chemistry lab report for four times. Luckily Dayang made me see when to stop. Thanks, Dayang!

I also learnt a hard truth. I am one person who can't make decision. Even when sometimes I made a decision, I will feel extremely guilty and contemplating on other choices. That is why I need someone else beside me to tell me that "that is the one". A very simple example, when buying shoes. I would pick a few pairs that I like and I let my mother pick the one for me. I don't really mind what it looks like as long as it is comfortable. Just like today, I can't decide which article to go first for BM's assignment. That's where Hanisah comes in handy. She's my assistant for this group assignment and she lets me know what's the best. Out of many things that I let people decide, there's one ting I won't let anyone decide for me; my spouse. 

Well actually, a few weeks ago, we had some girls talk during Maghrib-Isya' gap. Surprisingly I came to a conclusion that I might leave my marriage thing in my mother's hand. I'll let her choose the one for me. Yep, I am that sick to that point! But when I think again, maybe no. I'll choose for this matter. Truthfully though, I'm really okay if my mother wants to arrange it all for me. I think I will somehow reach a point where I will be too overwhelmed in my studies and career until I've got no space to think about marriage.

Woops. Anyway. Ehem, how did we get here...?

If Mr. H read this post, he'd comment on the endless grammar mistakes I've made so far. I don't know, tenses confuse me. All the time, I'm always like, how can the tense be past tense if I'm talking about things that won't change but happened some time ago. It's always a 'pulling-hair' time when I'm learning about tenses.

Wait. Before I babble more about my life ('cause I'm thinking to talk about me and my endless hard times choosing an ambition), I better stop here. This post is getting long and I bet you who are reading is getting "what is this girl talking about?". I guess that's all for today. Remind me to write about Malala Yousafzai and Big Bad Wolf book sale.

'Till then, aim high! To infinity and beyond, as always.